How Loneliness Almost Discouraged Me From Solo Traveling
January 2022 was a frigid winter in Boston. I was working hybrid, going to the office once a week, every other week. On a fully remote week, I channeled my inner snowbird and flew to Cancun, Mexico.
I’ve always said that if I’m going to get scammed while traveling, it’ll happen within my first hour in a new country because I’m willing to pay just about anything to get to my accommodations. Mexico took that very seriously. My 10 minute or so taxi ride from the airport to the Airbnb cost over $60 USD. At the time, Uber was active in Cancun (and significantly cheaper than taxis), but tensions between the taxi industry and ride-share services made getting around complicated. Many Uber drivers were reluctant to drive in certain areas out of fear of conflict with taxi drivers. Needless to say, Uber drivers were limited.
When I managed to secure a couple rides, the drivers would always request that I ride shotgun to avoid being noticed by taxi drivers. Due to the limited availability of Uber drivers (especially in heavy tourist areas), I was compelled to pay exorbitant taxi fares on several more occasions at the risk of being stranded as a solo traveler. This dynamic truly dampened my experience in Cancun.
To compound the stress of navigating transportation, I lost my debit card on the second day of my trip. I still can’t explain how I managed that. One minute, I was using my card to withdraw money from an ATM; the next, it was nowhere to be found. Did I somehow drop it on my way out of the bank? I’ll never know. The 30-plus minutes I spent retracing my steps, while my Uber driver patiently waited, accomplished nothing except driving up my fare. It was as if the card had literally vanished into thin air.
Months later, I would get an alert that someone was attemoting to use my canceled card in some U.S state, so someone had found it after all.
But at the time, losing my card certainly intensified the loneliness I felt during that trip. Being solo is one thing, but solo with limited funds? 0/0 experience. Would not recommend.
I had booked a day-long excursion before noticing I had lost my card (in fact, this excursion is why I lost my card in the firs place. They were cash-only, which prompted that ATM trip). But this activity only contributed to my sense of loneliness. From Las Coloradas to the Mayan clay bath to the alligator farm, I was hyper-aware of the families, couples, and friends bonding around me. I was self-conscious, convinced everyone around me was pitying the solo traveler. Later that night, I returned to my Airbnb feeling deflated. I promised myself I would never travel alone again.
By mid-2023, I walked back on that promise and decided to explore life as a digital nomad. I packed all my belongings in storage and traveled to Guatemala. This was my first time traveling alone since that Mexico trip—well, not quite. By then, I had adopted my pup, Maia, and we have been joined at the hip—or rather by her K9 Sport Sack—on all of my adventures ever since.
So far, my stay in Guatemala has been a beautiful, chaotic adventure. While I would be remiss not to credit my fur companion for some relief from loneliness, I believe a change in my overall perspective on solo traveling has helped keep that empty feeling at bay.
So here’s what I would tell my not-so-much-younger self—and anyone else who is delaying travel plans to avoid traveling solo:
Firstly, your feelings are valid. Humans are social beings. We cannot exist in silos. Even for introverts who prefer time alone, solo traveling can get lonely.
Secondly, do it anyway. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for someone else before they give themselves permission to live fully. Don't be one of them. The opportunity to create memories with people you know and love is priceless, but don’t deny yourself new experiences and…umm, the inevitable character development simply because you don’t have someone to share them with. Solo travel is an excellent opportunity to step outside your comfort zone, meet new people, argue with foreign taxi drivers in broken [insert pretty much any language], and build a little confidence. Because, I mean, you did just win an argument entirely through signs and wonders. That has to count for something.
As I get older, I am beginning to realize that my biggest regrets in life are not the things I have done but those I didn’t do.
We all have our own lives to live and our own paths to follow. Learn to appreciate your own company. You will be stronger for it.
Finally, consider the pros of traveling alone. Personally, I appreciate having total control over my itinerary, accommodation, activities, and sleep schedule. Nothing is worse than staying in underwhelming accommodations because your travel partner is the “we’re only sleeping there” type or the cold wars that inevitably ensue by day 3 of group trips.
The fact is, family and close friends aren’t necessarily good travel partners. This is something I strongly believe. I think about my best friend, who does things like sunrise hot air balloon rides. You know, the kind of activity that requires waking up at three in the morning…on vacation. Now, why on earth would I do that? But seriously, this is a two-decade-long friendship, and we’ve never traveled together. Believe it or not, I think that’s for the best. She’s the kind of traveler who wants to see every landmark, book every excursion, and squeeze as much sightseeing as possible into each day. I, on the other hand, want to wander aimlessly through neighborhoods, linger at cafés, discover where the locals eat, and occasionally forget that I’m a tourist at all. She wants an itinerary; I want to see where the day takes me. Neither approach is better, but we’re simply not compatible travel buddies, and that’s perfectly fine. I think it’s important to recognize these differences. In fact, I’m convinced many friendships could have been spared becoming collateral damage of a Miami trip if only the people involved had considered their travel compatibility beforehand.
If you’ve made it this far into the post but are still wary of solo travel, that’s okay. I recognize that group travel has plenty of benefits, too. Namely, splitting costs. Because let me tell you, booking entire Airbnbs on my solo dime is painful. But if you want to dip your toes into solo travel without giving up the comfort of a group, there are companies that organize trips specifically for people traveling on their own. Hostels are another great option for travelers who enjoy a more social environment and want opportunities to meet people along the way. Just be sure to do your research and choose reputable tour companies and accommodations. The goal is to step outside your comfort zone, not abandon your common sense. Safety first!
Whether you decide to travel solo or stick with groups, just don’t allow someone else’s schedule to dictate yours.
Adventure bound! Until next time, Wanderers.